Welcome back, blogger!

I took a bit of a hiatus, as life got a bit more chaotic than expected. A big part of that centers around a rather important move: I am now living with my double-metamour.

I’ll wait a moment for that to sink in.

My new housemate and I share not one but TWO partners, a blog (neapolitanromance.com is ours), and now we share a house as well. And soon, in all likelihood, custody of a dog. Or two. Maybe some fish. And temporarily some guinea pigs.

This is WEIRD. And really, really good – at least for me.

I live with someone who knows my life. Who knows the important people surrounding me, knows the ins and outs of my loves and my struggles to find new love in my life. Who speaks the same poly language I do, shares my desired communication skill set, and has a similar-enough-to-be-understood-but-different-enough-to-be-helpful worldview.

And she’s my FRIEND. I can talk to her about my stresses, and she gets it. I introduce new dates to her because I like having her input on potential new partners.  We have similar interests in crafts (our yarn stashes are merging), entertainment, decor (our house is…let’s call it eclectic), and similar social needs. Our new place is amazing for entertaining, and we’ve had several gatherings already – with the intent to have many, many more.

We’re still sorting all the day to day logistics out, as learning to live with someone new takes time. I’m actively seeking new partners, and we’re navigating the roommate/date territory fairly well.

I’m so grateful for her, and I’m excited for the future here.

Neapolitan Romance Topic of the Month: I discovered poly…

…later than was really ideal. My relationships up to that point were generally rocky, because being monogamous felt disingenuous to me, and yet I knew of no other real options. I spent years trying to shoehorn my wants and needs into a relationship structure that just didn’t work for me. I cheated a few times, and I’m not at all proud of it.

Then I packed up my world on a whim, moved to Cleveland, and met N. He changed all my definitions for the better.

He introduced me to the concept of polyamory and why it worked for him, and suddenly the universe made sense to me. I discovered that it was actually okay for me to love more than one person at a time, and I didn’t have to make grandiose promises of eternal fidelity to make a partner happy. I could let life happen, explore what was amazing right in front of me, and make plans accordingly.

It was heaven.

My first poly experience was ideal, really, at least for a while. I started dating N, fell madly in love almost straight away, and then he introduced me to H. H was gorgeous and wickedly smart, and I fell for her in short order as well. When I wasn’t crashing with N, I was crashing with H, whose wife L was about as generous with her time and effort as I could have ever asked for in a metamour. It was an absolutely incredible introduction to the lifestyle.

These people taught me how to balance dynamics, how to talk to metamours, how to approach new relationships with openness and love, and how to truly follow my instincts for the first time in my life.

Though those relationships didn’t last, I am forever grateful for the lasting impact they had on me. The incredible warmth and openness that I experienced in my first poly relationships has helped to shape the way I approach my dynamics.